Showing posts with label Heimlich maneuvers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Heimlich maneuvers. Show all posts

Thursday, January 3, 2008

December 21, 2007

I can't believe I haven't written in my blog for 6 days. So much for habits. I'm also biting my nails. So much for trying to break habits. To be honest with you, most of the blogs I read are not kept up with on a daily basis so I don't feel too bad. But the thing is, if you get regular readers, I think they stay with you better if you write frequently so I'm going to keep trying to enter regularly. And that's all I can promise...is that I'll try.

Coming up with material is a problem. I'm not doing Heimlich maneuvers on pets every day and there's not always something interesting happening. And if there's something really interesting to write about, I start considering it for an essay rather than a blog entry so I end up saving it. That's selfish isn't it?

Today I want to talk about boilers. Yes, boilers. Not the boiler some men sport over their belts. Not a large pimple or a small abscess. I'm talking about the old boilers people used to have in their houses...like a heater. I mentioned a boiler in Endings. There was a story about a house that had an old scary boiler in the basement. About a week ago I spoke to a group of older women at a local country club. They were a delightful group and I had a lot of fun there. I have three readings I like to do at book signings and one of them includes the boiler story. One of the interesting things about readings and giving prepared talks is listening for the phrases which make people laugh. Every group is different and this group giggled when I mentioned the boiler, where other groups didn't. It wasn't a particularly funny entry. It just struck a chord with this group. They knew about scary basement boilers because they grew up with them. And once in my childhood we lived in a house that had a boiler. Believe me, it was scary. It was dark, and old. It was hidden in the back of our basement. It made noise. It was alive and because of it I would not go down in the basement without turning on every single light on the way down there. The previous owners must have felt the same way because it was walled off in its own little room so you didn't have to see it unless you had to do something to it. But it was there. Waiting. In the dark.

So what's my point? The point is that I'm probably the last generation to experience "the boiler." My children have never seen a boiler and would only know a boiler from a Stephen King movie. But they probably wouldn't write about a boiler because to them that wouldln't have come to mind as an item in an old house. Maybe a land line telephone would be something typifying an old house to them. But not a boiler.

So still, what's my point? That certain things that seem common and stimulate a common response in people of a generation, pass in and out of literature like falling leaves. And if we don't write about them, they're gone. Who will remember boilers and the fear they struck in those of us who had them? Just think of the many little every day things that are passing on without recognition as our octogenarians and nonagenarians leave this world. Who will remember what it was like to play jacks? Or ring-o-levio?

I encouraged every one of those ladies at the club to write. Write their stories. Even the most common story. Because when they're gone, the memories go with them. Keep a diary and each day remember something that happened to you when you were a kid. I don't want to forget the boilers or the way they made me feel. And I want my kids to know them too.

December 6, 2007

Something really strange happened in my house today. Have you ever owned a beta fish? They're really great pets. They don't smell. They don't eat much. They're kind of cute and they don't produce much excrement. What more do you want? Mine doesn't do tricks but some people tell me they can. This one, "Blue Thunder" does display some predictable behavior and that makes him a little interesting. For example, when I come into the kitchen in the morning he doesn't get too excited until I turn on a specific light. That's his sign it's time to eat and he starts swimming around in a very exaggerated fashion. Then I give him a couple of beta pellets which last him all day. I've had him for two years and quite frankly, I've grown attached to the little blue guy.

Okay, I forgot to feed him this morning. I was in a hurry. This evening I came home and he was lying listlessly on the bottom of his aquarium. I thought perhaps he was dead and even though I would have felt bad for essentially starving him to death I probably wouldn't have shed a tear. After all, he's just a fish that came to me in a plastic Tupperwear container with holes poked on top.

I tapped on the glass and Blue came alive. Trust me I was glad to see that. The ignoble toilet burial of a fish is nothing to look forward to. Their little limp bodies whirling around...never mind that. He started thrashing around trying to get to the top of the water for his food. There are a bunch of plants and he had to maneuver himself around them to get there and by the time he arrived at the top he was in a state, let me tell you. It was kind of amazing to observe.

Many of you may not realize that beta fish breathe oxygen through their mouth and what looks like little nostrils. They don't use gils. I sprinkled a couple of pellets on the top of the water per ususal protocol. Blue charged at them. And then suddenly he was still. Absolutely still. His little fins stopped moving. He was looking up at me and it was then I realized that in his vigor to get at that food, he had inadvertently sucked up a pellet into one of his little nostrils. He had a stunned look on his little fishy face. Like "what the hell happened here?" How could his little fishy brain comprehend this situation?

He remained paralyzed and began to sink. I thought surely a Siamese fighting fish wouldn't go out like this. Surely he could puff a bubble of air out of that nostril-like thing and rid himself of the pellet. It looked like what my nostril would look like if I stuck a cocoa puff in it. Well, if I had a cocoa puff stuck in my nostril I wouldn't just lay there and die. I would snort it out. Why couldn't he rub it against something? No, he was too stupid to do that. His little primitive brain was no match for the pellet. My beta would die.

Well, I went to work. I got out my little fish net and scooped him up. And then I reached into the water with my index finger and thumb and applied a quick pump to his thorax. And that pellet came shooting out of his nostril like a cannon ball, and off he swam.

So the moral of this story is: fishies need Heimlich maneuvers too.